I got bitten by a Haggis
and broke out in rabid Tartan
spoke in Gaelic backslang
til me eye balls started “smartan”.
Me Sporran threw a hissy fit
and me Kilt came all unpleated
never fight a Haggis, mate-
you’ll always get defeated.
I’ve lost me taste for Porridge
and Scotch Whisky has no flavour
I can still toss out me rubbish-
but I’ll never toss a Caber.